"What might have been shoved aside or ignored at some other point now becomes too big. From setting the television to an inhuman volume to the person who seems determined to keep you busy all night, or the one who won’t allow any visitors, or refuses aid… this can settle into a reality that will not nurture you as you give.This is the time to turn over care-giving to someone else..."

I see the push-pull of these needs every day in my work. The patients take me aside and complain about their care, then later the family member caregiver takes me aside and tells me how hard they try to take care of their loved one while they are verbally and emotionally bruised by the one cared for. Needs are frustrated, feelings hurt, hearts broken. The decision to bring in outside care relieves so much pressure. We are all so damned human, so strong, so fragile. Thank you for expressing this dynamic so concisely and beautifully.